A Symbol of Grand Facade

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The place of Seraphina's 'official' birth happened to be in many ways a special one. The 'window to Europe', the Northern Venice, the multicultural and multinational former capital of Russia: Saint-Petersburg. But all its significance faded in comparison to Seraphina's deep longing for her biological family, which, from the first days of Seraphina's life in this capital of culture, failed to materialise. 

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In 23 years that Seraphina lived in Saint-Petersburg, it never captured her heart. This was partially due to the circumstances surrounding her birth and the early years of her life. Her biological father worked as a Soviet undercover agent in diplomatic services of the Russian Embassy in Paris, and her biological mother was a citizen of France. Ironically, although they fell in love, they could never marry. As a result, right after her birth which happened in France, Seraphina was brought to Saint-Petersburg (Leningrad then) and placed by secret service operatives into a foster family of Russian-Ukrainian descent who were residing in Saint-Petersburg.

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Although not consciously aware of her early traumatic experience, Seraphina always felt a certain dissonance with her official 'birthplace'. The beauty of the city escaped her; the grandeur of architecture never impressed her; its cultural life failed to attract her, and glorious history left her untouched. For, the city lacked the crucial elements - the warmth, comfort, and care of her own family which, ironically, even did not exist in official terms.

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​Even under normal circumstances, the place of one's birth does not equal home. Home is where the family is, where one is happy, where one is connected and loved, where one feels true self and one is always welcome. In this, Saint-Petersburg has never been a home for Seraphina. Instead, it was merely a place of temporary residence arranged by external forces.  

After leaving the cultural capital of Russia for good, Seraphina spent years returning to her official 'birthplace', tied to it by an invisible cord of the past - partially fictitious like her created background including her identity and foster family, and partially real in its truth like circumstances surrounding her birth. It took her decades to realise that for her Saint-Petersburg had always been a symbol of misfortune at birth. It was the city where she was brought to be abandoned, where cold and harsh winters reflected the coldness and indifference of the foster family she grew up in, and where she could never find true friends or meaningful connections despite the city's vastness, which equals that of Finland.​​​​​

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Now, decades and many realisations later, Seraphina is finally ready to close this chapter of her life, and turn the page to start writing a new history. Will there be a place fin it or the grand and regal Saint Petersburg? Yes, but on different terms than those of her early childhood.​​​​​​​